I don’t punch walls anymore (I punched a wall when I was drunk a few years back and broke my hand, never again) but I am thinking of making an exception. That’s right, I’m trying to fight the Empire State building. They say betrayal never comes from your enemies, which is why it hurts so much. I once loved the Empire State Building. I considered it to be my favorite building in the NYC skyline. But after the shit it pulled over the weekend, we are friends no more. The Empire State Building deserves an ass kicking, and it’s going to get one from me!
THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IS A COWARD!
This is despicable. Its disgusting. It’s downright wrong! How could you be one of, if not the most famous building in New York, and light up your colors for your rival team? YOU CAN’T! You simply cannot do that. You’re not a real New Yorker if you do that. The Empire State Building is a fraud. It isn’t even the tallest building in New York anymore, nobody cares about the second tallest building. Oh, you can light up Empire State Building? You don’t even use your lights correctly, you evil dweeb. I called you out on twitter last night and I’m doing it here again. I’m going back-to-back on you Empire State Building, just like Drake did to Meek Mill. I did another one Empire State Building, and you still ain’t done shit about the other one! (Shout out my boy Aubrey for the lyrics.)
GET RID OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING FOR GOOD!
I am going to get the Empire State Building out of New York, using a combination of my bare hands and yelling mean things at it online. When you think of New Yorkers you think of tough sons of bitches. Kings and Queens of the concrete jungle. Congratulating your division rival on winning a playoff game, AFTER THEY ELIMINATED YOU, is the opposite of tough. It’s soft. Its pitiful. Then the Empire State Building tried to play it off by also congratulating the Chiefs. Charmin Ultra Soft move right there, and I let them know it too.
WE NOW STAN THE FREEDOM TOWER/CHRISTLER BUILDING (Chrysler*)
If you stan the Empire State Building after this weekend, you’re dead to me. We now Stan The Freedom Tower. This is America baby, land of the free. Love me some Freedom Tower. We also stan the Christler building, great car, great building. Christler puts the Christ in Christler. Halleluiah, amen! (I realized after this it’s actually spelled Chrysler but I do not care.) I hate you Empire State Building. I picture our interactions going like this from now on (I’m Obi Wan.)
RAP IT UP
You now understand why we must hate the Empire State Building, but in case you were still skeptical, here’s a rap to really get the hatred flowing through your veins;
Yo Empire State Building, you used to be my friend!
Now I’m gonna hate you until the very end!
Your lights used to shine so bright
Now I can’t stand you, and I want to fight!
You don’t belong in the city, and you should go away!
You root for Philly? That’s where you can stay!