PAIN
FUCK! IM ANGRY! I’M SAD! I’M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION! Jacob DeGrom is no longer a New York Met; he is a Texas Ranger. His name should be changed to Jacob DeGone! This sucks so much really. I think we all knew this was coming. Too many rumors during the season that DeGrom was getting ready to leave. He was linked to Texas before the wild card series even started. I had to double take when I read the notification from Bleacher Report. And when I realized I let out a “NOOOOOO” so loud the Texas Rangers heard me and laughed at the stupid Mets fan I continue to be. “Ya Gotta Believe” THERES NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN! I THOUGHT THE HOLIDAYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING JOY INTO YOUR LIFE NOT DESPAIR! Absolutely brutal. If I came face to face with DeGrom our interaction would probably go like this;
NO TRIBUTES
Now I may be acting a little impulsive at the moment due to my anger of the situation. But I do not want to see a single thank you tweet or post from the Mets. I don’t want to see a tribute video of his time here next season! Especially if these tweets are true:
This means his mind was already made up! This means he always wanted the money and he was never going to stay. This means that all those stories of the Mets thinking they had a shot if the money was close, were all BULLSHIT! HE WANTED TO LEAVE! The rumors of him not wanting to play in NY were true! Well then, fuck his tribute video! He didn’t win us a world series, why does he deserve it? Only Cy Young awards, he only cares about himself! He wants to walk, fine Jacob! Go, we don’t need you anyway!
IF YOU BURN HIS JERSEY, YOU’RE A BIGGER LOSER THAN THE METS
Now, at the moment I may not want a tribute video (this may change, I’m like a woman on her period right now with my emotions) but if you burn his jersey, you are a fucking loser. This dude was literally baseball Jesus and absolutely amazing to watch. I had the honor of getting to watch his last start in a Mets uniform at Citi Field. That’s right, humble brag, I WAS AT THE METS GAME TWO WILD CARD WIN. It ended up being their only win of the 2022 post season and guess who was on the bump? That’s right. Baseball Jesus himself, Jacob Degrom.
I feel like Jacob and I have grown up together. I’ve been watching this guy pitch for the Mets since I was a virgin! Now we’re both seasoned vets. I am truly so sad to see him go. I was just so angry now I’m sad, I’m all over the place, like when Schmidt found out Cece was getting a boob reduction in New Girl.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE METS DOING?!?
Okay enough with all that cry baby sad shit. He’s gone, that’s it. But what the fuck are the Mets doing for real? Uncle Stevie what the fuck guy? You have all this money and we’re letting DeGrom go over $185 million? THAT’S CHUMP CHANGE TO YOU! Now everyone’s going to say oh it’s the years we’d have to pay him $37 million at 39 years old. Okay, then how does this make sense:
JUSTIN VERLANDER IS 39 YEARS OLD AND HE IS THE FRONTRUNNER OF OUR FREE AGENCY CHASE! THAT MAKES NO SENSE! We are going to have to give him mega money, THE SAME MONEY WE WOULD’VE HAD TO PAY DEGROM! And I understand the injury prone debate, I really do. But we all know that was just the Mets curse, he’s going to have no injuries in Texas. If we sign Verlander our 1-2 pitchers will be 38 and 39 years old. BOTH OF WHOM ALSO HAVE A HISTORY WITH INJURIES I MIGHT ADD! So that negates your injury prone argument for Degrom.
UNCLE STEVIE BETTER GET IT TOGETHER
We better make some fucking moves. Uncle Stevie better open the checkbook and start handing out blank ones, to whoever. YOU PROMISED US IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT STEVEN! But it’s not different, it’s the same old Mets. We better resign Nimmo and get Verlander and Rodon or this off season is going to be chalked up as (one) 1 big L, and Uncle Stevie is going to become Step-Uncle Stevie (I don’t know what I mean by this but it’s an insult!)
IT DIDN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY JACOB! WHY GOD WHY? YOU HAD THE FULL BACK END OF YOUR CAREER AHEAD OF YOU! WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIALLLLLLLL!
