Now I’m going to start by saying I don’t know if this is true, but it is on the internet, so like everything else on it, it must be true. I mean I wouldn’t put it past NBA players though, they’ve become the most spoiled athletes on the planet. They get paid hundreds of millions of dollars and they don’t even want to play full seasons anymore. Just look at this quote from Jaylen Brown, the highest paid player in the NBA this season, oh excuse me, the highest paid player in NBA HISTORY, talking about how playing 65 games out of an 82-game season is too much for players. (Fast forward to about 55 seconds in.)
All these guys love to tell us about how they idolize Kobe, and they want to have that Mamba mentality, and they want to work hard just like him, and on and on and on. But if Kobe saw what the all-star game, and all-star weekend have become he would be absolutely disgusted with these players. I mean look at how he talks about the game and how he treated it;
And now look at what Anthony Edwards; one of the games young stars, who gets compared to Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant frequently because of his “intensity” and “killer instinct,” and has been called the future face of the league by guys like Lebron and Steph, had to say about what the all-star game means to him:
Do you really think Kobe would want the all-star game MVP named after him, when every player nowadays has that I don’t care attitude toward the game? Absolutely not. And quite frankly its pathetic. NBA players should be ashamed of themselves, but of course they aren’t, all they seem to care about is money, and that is exactly how we are going to fix the All-Star game.
ADAM SILVER CALLS IN A GREAT MIND (ME) TO FIX THE ALL-STAR GAME
I mean this very seriously, if you think we should give NBA players more money to perform how they should in the all-star game, you are a fucking idiot. They are literally voted onto the all-star team by us, the fans! And as Ron Harper said, they should want to compete because they love the game, because they love the fans, not because they love money. Not to mention if you did a shitty job at your job, you would not get paid more, you would literally get fired. So why would we pay them for a shitty product? To answer your question, we’re not going to.
SOLUTION 1: WE FINE THEM
We want an improvement in play, we punish the players into doing so, we hit them where it hurts, their wallets. How will they be fined:
- If you play less than 15 minutes you will be fined. There is no reason you should be voted into the all-star game and not play. The fine will be $500,000.
- If by the end of the game your points/rebounds/assists do not combine to equal a score of 15 you will be fined. You’re supposed to be the best players in the world, play like it. You’re not there to just get cardio, or take the night off. The fine will be $500,000.
I am open to more fines, if we decide to move forward with this solution. I bet this will put a pep in their step.
SOLUTION 2: WE EMBARRASS THEM
Do you think a player would like to be put on notice after he just got cooked? No absolutely not. Get an emcee like how they do at NYC park tournaments, and get them to light a fire under these players. I bet you KAT wouldn’t have 50 points if an emcee was telling the whole world that Giannis couldn’t guard him, or Bam couldn’t guard him. I bet Paul George wouldn’t let Dame shoot from deep if the emcee kept reminding him about how Dame sent him home in the playoffs. The easiest way to make someone do something is to tell them they can’t. You get an emcee to tell the world that a certain player shouldn’t be an all star because they actually suck, I bet you they start playing harder.
SOLUTION 3: WE GET RID OF THE GAME COMPLETELY
Listen, the game is clearly changing. Players don’t care anymore so we get rid of the game altogether. Instead, with the 24 players that are there we run a 3v3 half court tournament with 8 teams. Games are until 21, winners advance until we get our final two for the finals. Winner DOES NOT get a money incentive. It slows the games down so there aren’t as many fast break dunks with no defense, or pull up threes from half. It makes the players actually have to play offense and defense the entire time. Maybe it is even something the players are interested in, so we get a competitive game, rather than the absolute dog shit we’ve been getting for the last few years.
SOLUTION 4: WE BRING BACK AN OLD FRIEND
If Walt Disney is being brought back and a bunch of other celebrities are being frozen to be brought back in the future, then there is a way for us to bring back David Stern. And David Stern would not tolerate any of this bullshit nonsense that is going on in the league. The load management would be gone, the shitty all-star games would be gone, the NBA would be restored!
These are the only sufficient options to save the National Basketball association. Every other “solution” on the internet and these talk shows was garbage, just like the NBA’s product. Adam Silver when you read this, (and I know you will) I look forward to putting these plans in motion to save the game we all love!
