And with that ladies and gentleman, our NBA season is coming to a close. We have reached the finals (after what has felt like an eternity since the end of the conference finals I might add.) 30 teams started the season, and now we are down to the final two. I feel like all year long people felt Boston was one of, if not the best team in the league, and with an injury depleted east, it was pretty much a no brainer for them to make the finals. But the Mavs? I don’t know if anyone expected the Mavs to get here, including Mavs fans. Even after the trade deadline people were skeptical about the Mavs. But when you get hot you get hot. 12-3 to end the season, playing some of the best defense in the league, and when you have Kyrie and Luka, anything is possible on the offensive end.
Personally, I believe we are going to get a great final. The conference finals were absolute snooze fests, and honestly for how great people were anticipating these playoffs to be, I would say it has underachieved. But like everything else in this world, the NBA is a what have you done for me lately type of league. And if Boston and Dallas give us a long series, where its close down the stretch and exciting every night, then the only thing that will be talked about were how great these playoffs were. 7-1 in the first-round predictions, 2-2 in the second, 1-1 in the conference finals for an overall record of 10-4 in these playoffs. That’s better than what Tyrese Haliburton did in the ECF.
CONFERENCE FINALS RECAP
CELTICS>PACERS
I had the Celtics over the Pacers in 5 which was absolutely foolish of me. It absolutely fucking pains me that every player on the Knicks got injured because the Celtics are so fraudulent. But do you know who is even more fraudulent? The BITCH ASS Indiana Pacers. That team fucking disgusts me. And I don’t know who is more of a fraud; Tyrese (oh my hamstring from January is hurting, call the wambulance and take me out of the game) Haliburton. Or there fucking moron of a head coach, Rick Carlisle.
Rick Carlisle lost the Pacers the series. In game 1 he refused to call the timeout that he had to advance the ball while the Pacers were UP with 8 seconds left. The he didn’t have his team foul when they were up THREE in the final seconds of the game. How is this guy even a coach genuinely? After that loss guess how he decided to follow it up? BY MAKING THE SAME FUCKING MISTAKE IN GAME 3. This time the Pacers down one with 7 seconds left, they get a rebound and what does Rick Carlisle decide to not do? You guessed it, doesn’t call his timeout to advance the ball and they turn the ball over again. Absolutely disgusting display of basketball all around. And it just gets me so tight because the Knicks could’ve fucking beat Boston and should’ve beat Indiana. Now I have to watch fucking Porzingis in the finals.
WOLVES>MAVS
Buddy I could not have been more wrong here. I thought the Wolves would figure it out and win in 7. If Luka knew about this, he would call me a motherfucker and tell me I suck and I should cry. And he is absolutely right. I am so sorry Luka, especially as White Boy Summer is here. I should’ve never doubted you. I was sucking the sack of the media (pause.) They shoved Anthony Edwards down our throat (pause.) They called him the next MJ and we all fell for it. And buddy did he fucking stink in the conference finals. I also will never understand going with Gobert over KAT on the floor down the stretch which I saw a lot in that series, but hey the defensive player of the year is there to help right? Right???
FINALS PREDICTION
If Boston wins the finals, I may kill myself. I will just lead off with that. I fucking hate them so much. (I think Joe Mazzoola is cool, I heard him on Pardon My Take, and I too like the movie the Town. I’m also not looking up how to spell his name.) I do think Boston has the more complete team; however, I also think they are more fraudulent. They lost in the finals before, and I’d be glad to watch them do it again. I hope Kyrie stomps all over Lucky the Leprechaun (that took me way too long to get the correct spelling) and I hope Luka hits big shot after big shot in Jaylen Browns face. I think I speak for everyone in the world besides Boston, Mavericks, please, please, please, please beat the Celtics. (I feel like Eddy Brock praying to God to kill Peter Parker right now.)
Luka is the best player in this series, and he is going to play like it. He is going to hit big shot after big shot. He is going to complain to the refs (I hate that,) and then he is going to call everyone a motherfucker. And he will hoist the Larry O’Brian trophy and transform into Hookah Doncic for white boy summer. I could not picture a more beautiful story line. Chet Hanks is going crazy right now. Mavs in 6. Luka MVP. Kyrie veteran presence and big shots get the job done. But most importantly, from the bottom of my heart…
