The Brooklyn Nets are a dumpster fire. You would think they were doing flips and walking on tight ropes with how much of a circus they’ve become. I was having dinner with my brother Jay-Z the other night and I said to him “Hov, is this really the vision you had for the Nets when you moved them to BK?” He practically broke down and told me with tears in his eyes “Buttah, of my 99 problems, the Nets are the biggest. They’re about 98 of them.” Now as a Knicks fan It made me so happy to hear those words since we’re normally the circus organization. But as a friend, I could not let my brother down. I told him put me in touch with Joey T (Joe Tsai current Nets owner) and I’ll clean up the mess.
Finding the Issue
So, Joey T hits me up and he says “Buttah, can you save our franchise?” I tell him “If you’re looking for saving you should talk to God, so it’s a good thing you came to the next best person.” So, let’s get to work. Firstly, let’s put all the Kyrie politics aside. If I wanted to be political, I’d be running the USA already. So, I take a look at the current roster and can immediately tell this doesn’t work. We thought Kyrie and KD would gel together and they clearly have not. KD needs the ball to thrive as does Kyrie. We’ve seen them both be in other positions with other ball dominant players and find success. So why are they not successful together? Could it be coaching?
Why would Kyrie repeatedly disobey a coach he wanted hired? Doesn’t make sense, but it was time to get ol’ Stevie Nash out of there. In reality Steve Nash did not do a good job with this team, and didn’t make the correct adjustments under any circumstance. Kendrick Perkins had the greatest take regarding the entire situation.
Coaching? Fixed!
So now that we got rid of the coach and found the replacement (not Ime Udoka. I told Joey T earlier; he should stay clear from controversy right now.) So, they went with Jacque Vaugh who has a coaching record of 67-163. THE CHANGE THEY NEEDED! Now let’s talk personnel, what do we need to do to build a championship caliber team? Let’s look at some numbers so far this year;
First Order of Business
Gross. The Nets “big three” clearly isn’t gelling together, so we have to make some moves. Firstly, we’re going to build around KD. He’s a generational talent and we have a high asking price so he’s staying. The first person who needs to go is Ben Simmons. Ben Simmons is a bonifed scrub whose numbers have deteriorated every year he’s been in the league. (This guy was compared to Lebron at one point. That’s laughable.) He can’t score and he crowds the paint for KD. We need better spacing. We need someone who can shoot. We need a reunion. Who can we bring in to help KD and share some of the offensive load…
Bring in the Beard
That’s right! Bring in the beard! He’s so crafty, he can shoot, he can pass, he can SCORE! Something Ben Simmons cannot do. We’ve seen these two play together before and they worked well off one another. They even went to the finals back in 2012. I think if they can put egos aside, they’ll be a great duo together. (Side note I can’t believe that gif is photoshopped. It actually looks like James Harden was a net at one point.) But in reality, I think this works out for both the 76ers and the Nets. The 76ers get a young guard who is an improvement defensively and can run the pick and roll to get Embiid the ball. Ben can also push the ball to get Maxey a lot of transition buckets. The Nets get a former MVP and a proven scorer. His ability to get to the free throw line and shoulder some of the offensive load will take some stress off of KD and help in a championship run. Who says no?
Now that we handled the Ben Simmons disaster, the next person we have to move is Kyrie. With KD and Kyrie only winning 1 playoff series in the entire tenure together (4 seasons) it doesn’t seem that there will be any improvement. Especially when Kyrie, who is already suspended at this point, and can’t seem to ever stay on the court.
Yeah, this guy is clearly not helping our cause. So, let’s think of what we should do to move him. We have our shooters in James, and KD. We could use another ball handler who can play defense. For spacing it would be ideal if he could slash to the basket for quick buckets. He should be able to push the pace and stay on the court unlike Kyrie. The only person that comes to mind that fits all of those dynamics is…
Bring in the Brodie!
That’s right! You fucking guessed it! Russel Westbrook! Former MVP and former teammate of Kevin Durant and James Harden. This guy averaged a triple double for the season just a few years ago. He can do it all! Bringing this trio back together sets up a real championship contender! The Lakers get Kyrie, their scoring guard to pair with Lebron James and AD. It works perfectly for both teams. Who would say no?
Well, there you have it. Gm Buttah does it again. He comes in to save the day. When Joey T sees this blog, he is going to cry tears of joy. He finally has a plan to save his franchise. If it was this easy, everyone would be able to do it folks, but it’s not easy that’s why they contacted me. Glad I could help out my brother Hov, but I’m with Gaylord Focker tonight, and every other night! It will always be a Knicks City and we are the better team! LGK!
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