The Lakers are in trouble. It does not matter that they won their last game against the Nets (the Nets suck, and will continue to suck unless they do what I say to save their season.) It is officially time to hit the panic button on the Lakers season. Good. Nothing can happen if things stay the same. They are currently 3-10 and are in 14th place in the Western Conference. That’s just not going to cut it, which is why I am going to save them. My uncle Lebron James called me earlier and I could hear the pain in his voice. He said “Buttah I just don’t what I can do anymore. I’m going to be 38 in 2 months. This is year 20. I got big shoulders, I’m trying to carry the load, but I’m just a kid from Akron. Will I pass Kareem for the most points in NBA history this season? Yes. Will I pass Magic on the all-time assists list this season? Yes. Both incredible feats, but what will the team do? I want another championship for the James Gang. I don’t want to let the kids at my ‘I Promise’ school down. We need a change.” I could practically hear the tears running down his face. I said “Lebron, uncle, my king. I will make this franchise bend the knee and we will save the season. I give you, my word. Set the meeting with Jeanie and Rob, tell them their reign is over.”
Look At Me; I’m The Captain Now
What happened to this once great franchise? Bad leadership. It starts at the top; you have to go above the King (Lebron) for this. But you can’t go above the King because that’s treason. And if you didn’t know, I’m the Kings right hand man, so I’ll have your head for that Rob Pelinka! No but in all seriousness with me coming in someone has to go. I have relieved Rob of his duties and have two (2) different plans of attack to save the franchise and get a ring…
Plan 1: The Obvious
These stats are before Myles went off for 37 points the other night as well. I think if you explained the Lakers situation to a child, they would take about 5 minutes to pull the plug and make the move. How Rob Pelinka and Jeanie Buss have not done it yet is incompetent. Worried about a 2029 draft pick meanwhile if they miss the playoffs, they don’t get the lottery pick anyway. INCOMPETANT! Myles turner is basically begging the Lakers to come get him and they refuse.
It’s so simple. Trade Westbrook to Indiana; offload his terrible contract, give up the draft picks that are 7 years away from now, and get back pieces that will turn this team back into a championship contender. If Indiana wants Pat Bev, send him away too, send Matt Ryan, send Kendrick Nunn because he is absolutely awful. Just look at these stats:
The Lakers are the worst shooting team in the league (don’t need statistics, this is the eyeball test.) Their spacing is ass, worst in the league (again eyeball test.) Yes, Russ has been better off the bench, perfect, it makes him easier to trade. But the fact still remains; him, Bron, and AD haven’t worked and will continue to not work. Bring in Buddy Hield to create spacing and shooting (the thing all successful Lebron teams have, because when you put the ball in his hands and let him be a playmaker, good things happen.) You also allow AD to be more comfortable and play the 4 instead of the 5. We know he hates playing the 5, why is there no big man there to help? Miles Turner is out here crying to get to the Lakers, and AD is crying for the help!
But don’t worry, I didn’t send Rob Pelinka north to the wall to serve out his days, I sent him somewhere that he could get the job done. So let’s see if he actually gets the job done.
Plan 2: The Reunion
Now I’m not talking about the Friends Reunion, I’m talking about the reunion of friends. Are you picking up what I’m putting down yet? No? Okay let’s break it down, it’s a 2-step process to get us a new big 3. Firstly, the point guard position. Again, Russ has been good off the bench as of late but he still has to go. We know we’re sending Russ somewhere but team is currently doing better with their star point guard off the floor…
Now this stat is a few days old, but you get the point. The Nets have been better without Kyrie Irving. Why bring him back and ruin their season again? Why not instead trade him away and have a reunion of their own? It’s no secret KD is fed up with having to carry the load himself.
Send Westbrook to Brooklyn to help out KD and bring Kyrie back to play under Lebron’s wing, where he thrived. Let him be Robin to Lebron’s batman and he’ll create the spacing needed to let Lebron and AD feast on offense. I’m already looking forward to more fast breaks like this again.
The Final Piece
It has been no secret that AD has been a shell of his former self.
I mean that looks like a completely different person. Are we ever going to see this AD again? I’m not so sure we will. When a horse can no longer race, they take them out back and shoot them. Is that what I’m suggesting we do to Anthony Davis?!? Absolutely not, but he cannot continue to stay on the Lakers if he’s playing like this. So where can we send him?
That’s right, pack AD a winter hat and jacket because we’re sending him to Cleveland. We’re sending him down in Ohioooo, swag like Ohiooooo (that’s a sound I hear all over Tik Tok look it up.) Get him out of the West and wish him the best! (Again, not a rapper) And who are we getting in return? Well firstly some draft picks but some of you may be thinking Jarrett Allen. That is incorrect. I’m looking to build a team I know can win, a team that has championship experience, a team of reunion…
That’s right! Give me the big man that can shoot. Give me Kevin Love! It is meant to be. Assembling this team turns the entire season around and chip talk is back on the table! WOW, I’m getting chills just thinking about them together.
Now, my job is to save the Lakers season, and that is what I intend to do. Whether it’s the obvious route, or if I go for a little reunion. Personally, I’m all in for the reunion (but maybe that’s the nostalgia in me.) I told Bron I would do whatever it took, so if it’s the obvious route then so be it. The cards are on the table now, all Jeanie has to do is make the move! Someone tell Jeanie bring me my check, no Nike. Bron, K Love, and Kyrie back together, that’s spicy. (Not a rapper.)
