I’ve got the Tuesday blues. Why do I have the Tuesday blues you ask? It’s quite simple, Tuesday is the worst day of the week. It’s the worst day of the week and there is no close second (kind of funny that it’s pronounced “two’s-day” and is the second day of the work week but is number one on the worst day of the week chart. Really makes you think.) I mean just look at today, it’s raining! The rain sucks, and of course it’s raining on a Tuesday. Does it only rain on Tuesdays? Some people are saying that, and considering the past is history, and tomorrow is a mystery, I’d have to say those people would be right! But seriously, Tuesdays suck. They are so much worse than Monday’s and if you think otherwise than you may be worse than Tuesday.
Tuesday<Monday
Why are you wrong if you think Monday is worse than Tuesday you ask? *In my Thanos voice* “Little one it’s a simple calculus. This universe starts the work week on a Monday. This means you have the entire weekend to prepare for Monday. Yes, Sundays are scary and everyone is always spooked on Sunday nights (the spookiest Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday, just got the heebee jeebeez ((lol how the fuck do you spell that)) just thinking about it. Brutal.) But when you make it through Monday, as we all always do, you are still so far away from your end goal; the weekend. Mondays are torture, but Tuesdays, Tuesdays are inevitable.”
Tuesday STINKS
You get through Monday and you try to put your best foot forward, until you realize the weekend is a galaxy far far away. Even the best time of the week, Thursday night seems so far past the horizon you can’t even see it. Tuesdays just flat-out stink. You aren’t at the middle of the week yet, movies don’t come out on Tuesday nights, even though they do give a cheap price to go. But who wants to go on a Tuesday? You’re tired from work/school, you’re like “Uhh the weekend is still so far, I’ll just stay home.” There’s not even football on Tuesday, even Monday gives us that! Stupid Shitty Day!
Good things about Tuesday!
Nothing. Absolutely nothing! Maybe that Tacos are associated with it for “Taco Tuesday” but to be honest with you I think that’s a slight at Tacos! Tacos are delicious and deserve to be associated with a day like Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Just because they both start with T they get grouped together? That’s like grouping the Mets and Yankees just because they play in New York! What a slight against the Mets am I right?
Biggie Said It Right
Now that you read this blog you have been informed of the correct worst day of the week. You can now save that preparation for Monday and focus it on Tuesday. Be strong through the Tuesday blues! Make fun of the day, don’t let it control you. Its spelled Tuesday but pronounced Twos-day. Why wouldn’t they just spell it “Twosday.” What a stupid day. Just the absolute worst. Anytime I need clarification about why Tuesdays are so terrible I think back to what my brother, The Notorious B.I.G. said to me once. “Buttah, I know everyone hates Mondays, but they have to remember this key fact: Tuesdays are the worst days, but now I drink champagne when I’m thirsty.” He said that to me when I was in the womb, and I still remember the tears running down my fetus cheek. It’s stuck with me ever since.
But it’s almost the end of the day which is good, because now you all can get your hump on tomorrow!
