McDonald’s has done it again. He may look like a clown, but make no mistake about it, that Ronald is a genius when it comes to this fast-food shit. Now tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and we will get into the good and bad Thanksgiving foods, but right now we need to talk about this glorious new burger.
SMOKY BLT DOUBLE QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE
It looks like McDonald’s did everyone a favor because I no longer see that nasty ass McRib on the menu. Its limited time run is done, hallelujah! And they moved on to make room for what might be their best burger since the Big Mac! That’s right, I said it! It is that good. McDonalds put a BLT on a Quarter Pounder with Cheese! And you can make it a double. That’s just so innovative. Would I, the foodie that I am thought to do that? NO! I wouldn’t have, I guess that makes me more of a clown than Ronald!
BETTER THAN IN-N-OUT
This burger was absolutely delicious. It’s better than any burger I’ve had from In-N-Out (that’s right West Coast, fuck you) It’s got more flavor than that dry ass turkey we’re all going to be eating tomorrow. I’m not ashamed to say this, I would literally eat this with Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. If one of my family members brought this burger as their dish, I would award them with the best dish of the night (I’m joking, we know how to cook on this side, but it really is that good.)
WHAT’S IT MADE OF?!?
The bun has sesame seeds (an instant bonus) and is more sturdy than my “for you page” on Tik Tok (that’s a new popular dance the kids are doing in case you didn’t know.) You’ve got two big beefy patties (ayo) that are so juicy it drips down the side of your face. (pause) Then stacked on top of that you’ve got that good old American Cheese baby. (Best cheese? I’m not sure. Most patriotic cheese? Absolutely. So that’s another win in my book.) Not too much lettuce to where its overpowering, just the perfect amount. Then you’ve got the tomato. Oh, that delicious tomato. Tomato doesn’t ruin a burger it elevates it, and if you like Ketchup but not tomato’s this burger isn’t for you. Why don’t you stick with your happy meal you little dweeb. And lastly, the pig. That’s right, the delicious greasy bacon that supposedly takes years off your life because it’s so bad for you. Well, let me tell you something, if bacon is bad for you, then I don’t want to be right! In the words of my brother Drizzy; “I’m here for a good time not a long time.” (I want to live until I’m 150.) Bacon makes everything better, that’s why we add it to everything and anything.
LEAVE THE WHIP, GIVE ME THE MIRACLE (MAYO)
But you can’t have a good burger without any sauce. You need the sauce. This burger had the sauce. And do you know what that sauce was? That’s right, good old Mayo. Let me tell you something, Mayo belongs on a burger. You mix it with ketchup or BBQ sauce and wow, is it to die for. It is stupendous and completes the burger. It makes it a sandwich, it makes it a meal, it makes it delicious! Do you need a ton of Mayo to where it over powers the sandwich? Absolutely not that’s disgusting. But just the right amount? You literally can’t beat it. When I bit into that burger and I tasted that Mayo, it was so good I almost made some Mayo in my pants (PAUSE.)
INSTANT REACTION
Well, there you have it. That’s the review. You have to have it! I already can’t wait to get it again. And if you want to see the instant reaction, I’ve got it for you right here.