ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WITHOUT A DOUBT! WITHOUT A DOUBT! Giants’ money line easiest bet I’ve ever made. DO NOT SLEEP ON THIS TEAM! AND DO ME A FAVOR, BRING ME PHILLY! (I may do this entire blog in all caps.) Daniel Jones the second coming of Eli Manning? Yes! Everybody wrote us off early this year and Jesus Christ (Brian Daboll) has continued to lead us to the promised land! The G-MEN did exactly what we all knew they would. They marched into Minnesota and defeated the Vikings!
SAQUON BARKLEY
OUR SAVIOR! Did we give him the ball too little for my liking in the second half? Yes, we did. Because this man is our horse, and we need to ride him (Pause!) His first touchdown set the tone. 28-yard TD run, after the Vikings scored on their opening drive?!?!? Easily shows we are not to be fucked with. We are for real! Oh, am I being too conceited? 3 teams already went home. We need to lock Saquon up for a long time, its official. He turns the gears on our offense, and he did it today. THAT BOY NICE!
DANIEL JONES
HE IS HIM! Daniel MF Jones! The second coming of Eli Manning. He was hated by our fan base (me included.) They said he could not do it (me included.) They said we shouldn’t pay him (me included.) They said he wasn’t built for NY (me included.) And he hung his big old nuts on all of us!) That man willed us to victory. You don’t have to like him, but you need to respect this man! He left it all on the line today. Rushing, passing, commanding! He is our leader and we should sign him (maybe not the max, if he wins the Super Bowl break the brinks truck out.) But, don’t let him hit free agency. He is made for us, he is our quarterback, and he played an integral part in our victory today. DanHIM Jones!
DEFENSE
Listen, it may not have been pretty, but our defense got the job done. I trust in Wink (our defensive coordinator) and I’d give him a wink if he was here (ha Pause!) Justin Jefferson didn’t do shit today! (And he’s the best wide receiver I’ve seen since Calvin Johnson!) Our defense had our back today. Lock Dexter Lawrence up FOREVER! As much as they gave us shit this year, our defense did it. I love when my team wins. I’m so fucking pumped!
WON AND DONE?!?!
NOPE! No sir! We are not done! Bring me Philly. You think I’m scared of an eagle? I could literally punch an eagle! You know how hard it is to beat a team three (3) times in one season?!?!? Harder than when some people wake up in the morning (pause!) The Giants Super Bowl run is officially on! Wild Card weekend was SUPER (get it, it’s super wild card weekend!) But I’m hungry for more. I need more! And the Giants will deliver. We’ll see you in Philly next weekend everyone. What a fucking weekend! I’’ be Griddy-ing all the way into the next round of the playoffs, just like the Giants Griddy-ed the Vikings out of the playoffs! Can’t spell Viking(S) without fraud(S) or lo(SS!) THE FUCKING G-MEN BABY!!!!!
