The time has finally come. The NBA season is coming to a close. We have potentially 7 more games (it’s only going 5) before we have no basketball for the next four months. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
Okay, now that we have faced the facts, lets discuss the finals predictions. I went 0-2 in the Conference Finals (technically 1-1 because I chose Boston to win to sabotage them. You’re welcome literally everyone!) So, my record in these playoffs so far is technically, TECHNICALLY 6-8 (unofficially 7-7 though.)
WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS RECAP
Hand up, I was wrong about the Lakers. I thought my king could get the job done, and instead the Nuggets pulled the Lakers pants down and spanked them on the behind for four straight games (ayo.) I thought Anthony Davis was the only player who could guard Jokic, that was a FOOOLISH take. Jokic might as well have changed AD’s diaper because he babied that man all series (ayo?) Just look at this shit man.
Also, it does not help that Tristan Thompson was literally an analyst for ESPN and came on a few weeks before the playoffs, to then guard Jokic better than AD. AD literally sat in the fourth quarter for a long period of time because Tristan was outplaying him. In my best Charles Barkley impersonation “That’s just TURRIBLE.”
Not to mention Jamal Murray went absolutely nuclear and *checks notes* is indeed a really really good basketball player. I’m pretty sure he averaged over 30 points per game, and I’m not checking to verify, because it literally felt like he had a strangle hold on the Lakers neck, (pause) every time they tried to get back in the game.
Lastly, this is specifically for all the people that think they are big J journalists out there, whoever said the Lakers should feel like they won game 1 after they lost, you are a moron. Rui Hachimura had nothing for Jokic, and clearly nobody else did either. I picked the Lakers and that was dumb.
EASTER CONFERENCE FINALS RECAP
I just have one thing to say… You’re welcome. You’re all welcome. I had picked against Boston in the first two rounds, and they won. I knew I had to pick Boston to switch up the juju and what do you know, they fucking lose in amazing fashion. Other than that, I will not say much. I thought it would have been so perfect if Boston lost in game 6 because Joe Mazzula challenged a very obvious foul that if he wouldn’t have challenged the Heat would have only been able to tie the game, not take the lead. It was very corny when Smart and Brown kept saying “Don’t let us win one.” Well, you got bounced so who cares. And they came back just to get blown out on their home floor. Just amazing truly, and I’m so happy I could do my part. FUCK BOSTON!
NBA FINALS PREDICTION
Nuggets in 5. I don’t even really feel I have to elaborate any further. Batman may not kill people, but the Joker does, and the Joker is going to kill Bam. He is going to kill the Heat, and he is going to laugh about it. If the Joker is getting clamped (he won’t be) I hope the Heat are good at solving riddles, because Jamal Murray is going to run circles around them. The Nuggets have been the best team all year, and they have overpowered everyone in these playoffs so far. Jimmy Butler has nothing for them (if we’re being completely honest, he’s been getting carried by his teammates and shouldn’t have won Eastern Conference Finals MVP, but y’all aren’t ready to have that discussion yet.) Normally Nuggets get cooked with Heat, but not this time. Nuggets in 5. You heard it here first.
